Is It Love, Lust, Or Infatuation?

When you think of your life long partner, do you think of the word love? Most people do. Of course, some of those relationships started out with lust, or even with an infatuation. So when you meet someone that catches your eye, how do you know if it’s love, or if it’s lust, or if it’s infatuation?

Another way of looking at this is questioning whether a solid relationship can be built on lust or an infatuation. Love is generally understood as being unconditional in nature. If you truly love someone you love them through the good times as well as the bad. You are not only willing to, but you want to grow old with them. Therefore, the thought of them having gray hair and wrinkles is not a turn off, as long as they are by your side when the time of old age comes.

Love is everlasting and pure. It is what we strive for. Lust on the other hand is desiring someone sexually. So of course it is possible to lust for someone that you love. But you can also lust for someone that you don’t love. The truth is that you do not have to have any feelings of affection at all for the person to lust after them.

So what is an infatuation? There are probably lots of technical definitions but the simple meaning of the word is a very strong, passionate feeling for someone that usually lasts only for a short period of time.

Infatuation perhaps is easier to understand when the term ‘puppy love‘ is used as an equal interchange. Young people, particularly teenagers are notorious for feelings of infatuation. They can sometimes easily move from one relationship to another, believing that they are in love with each partner, but only for a short period of time. This is not to say that infatuation is limited only to teens because adults can often become infatuated as well.

But when you are experiencing the intense feelings of passion and seemingly of ‘love’ it can be difficult to differentiate between the three terms: love, lust, infatuation.

To begin the process of weeding through this decision you should ask yourself if you would still care about the person if he/she did something that you think of as negative in some way. Consider whether your feelings would change. If this changes your feelings then you probably do not ‘love’ this person.

Now think about how you would feel about this person if his/her looks would suddenly change drastically. If that changes the way you feel about them then your feelings are more than likely based on lust or infatuation.

Finally, think about how this person makes you feel. Ideally, the person you love will make you feel loved, a sense of trust, and feelings of security. If you immediately think of negative emotions in connection with this person then your feelings for him/her are probably not love.

Advantages of Online Dating

With the advantages of online dating becoming more obvious all the time, it’s no wonder the industry itself is continually growing. Gone are the days of smoke filled bars and clubs trying to get to know someone. Online dating gives you the opportunity to view a single’s profile before you have even contacted them.

Getting to know someone from the comfort of your own home is an affordable luxury with online dating. There is no guesswork involved either of whether the other person is single, because they are all single. And they are all there to find a compatible partner.

Arrive home from work, login, and check your inbox. There’s no need to wait until Friday night, or Saturday night to start dating. There are no unsociable hours online, it’s a twenty four hour lifestyle.

With no need to dress up as no one can see what an online dater is wearing, there is no need to spend hours getting ready. Comfort is the only concern when dating online.

Every detail of a prospective date is there in black and white. The things they love in life, their desires, and what they want out of life. An insight into someone’s personality is instantly recognisable.

Once someone has found an interesting looking profile, an e-mail or instant message is all it takes to get some possible conversation going. If the recipient likes the look of the senders profile then an online relationship is ready to bloom.

After getting to know someone the first date can be at that new coffee bar that’s in need of a test. A nice quiet date to continue the connection someone has made online. Or maybe an excuse is needed to try out the new restaurant in town.

Evenings out with friends can be spent enjoying yourself again. There’s no need to spend the night trying to find someone to start a relationship with. You will have a new air of confidence about you. And when all your friends find out the “how’s” and “where’s”, they will soon be enjoying the advantages of online dating as well.